The "Ice Dancer" - When you return home, the cat winds between your legs in a figure eight, for 5 minutes straight.
The "Hulk Hogan" - When the cat is insistent on body slamming into you, to get attention, but mostly to attain food.
The "How Dare You!"- The unexpected slap you get when you walk by your cat, who's sitting at a height close enough to slap you in the face.
The "Button Face"- When the cat is insistent upon giving you the backwards view of his body, so you end up staring at his tail, with his butt in your face.
The "Screen Protector" - The ability of a cat to sense when you're working on the computer, thereby ensuring he'll walk back and forth, then plop right in front of the monitor.
The "Screaming Mimi" - The loud wailing a cat makes between the time you open the can of cat food and, the 45 seconds it takes for you to put it in his bowl to serve him.
The "Backup and Sniff" - The attitude the cat pulls when he decides he doesn't want the cat food you've given him, even though he loved it 2 hours earlier.
The "Electric Blanket" - When your cat lays on top of you, covering every inch of your body, no matter the weather, purring so loudly in your ear, you can't sleep.
The "Pizza Maker" - Those fun times when your cat finds the most sensitive spot on your body and kneads you for 3 hours, showing his affection by drawing blood.
The "Tootsie Pop" - How many licks does it take a cat to finish grooming its fur? A million and three apparently.
The "Norman Bates" - That eerie feeling you get that someone's watching you while taking a shower, only to have the shower curtain come flying in as the cat plays between the curtain and liner. Causing you to jump, and the cat to peek his head in to see why you're interrupting playtime.
"Santa's helper" - The ability that every cat has, to hear you wrapping a gift, and time it, so that just as you're finishing, he jumps on top and shreds the paper to bits.
The "Magicians Assistant"- The trick a cat does, where he's able to fold himself up into a size so tiny, you can never find him. Until you pull out a shot glass and he peeks up at you.
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