Happy New Year 2018!

Other than the beach, my favorite thing to take pictures of is the moon. So of course I'm excited that this year is starting off with a full moon. AND, on January 31st, we're having A FULL, SUPER, BLUE, BLOOD, MOON, with a total ECLIPSE! It's like the best of everything a moon can be...... We only get to see a partial part of the eclipse early (6:30am) in the morning, but you know where I'll be. Toasty in bed. What the hell. It's January. No. Probably, down at the Delaware trying to get some shots of it. Sometimes, it's the little things that make life worthwhile. You just don't realize it until after they've happened. Happy New Year to everyone! Hope you're as excited about things to come as I am!!!

Merry Christmas! (No X allowed!!!)

This may be a repeat) An honest question. Why is Christmas so offensive that people can't look at the written word, or hear it being spoken? Sales clerks arent allowed to wish you "Merry Christmas" anymore lest they offend you. I understand that some people aren't Christian, that's fine, but what is so offensive that we can't enjoy it? Do they think that by saying Merry Christmas, people are trying to convert them to Christianity? I will say one BIG pet peeve of mine, is the word X-mas. Yeah I know "X" stood for Christ in days long ago, but you never hear that anymore. The word "X-mas" is only used now because people are too lazy to write the other 5, (that's right, 5) letters. They're taking Christ out of Christmas because of laziness. But I digress. Other than the fact that we start decorating at Labor Day, it boggles me that people make such a fuss about saying Merry Christmas. I really think it's tiny, petty people who have nothing better to do with their time than to find offense with everything. Protesters and activists, are harming their credibility, by continuously trying to find something to turn into an injustice. If everything is offensive, what is appealing? If someone wished me "Happy Hanukkah" or "Ramadan", it wouldn't even register. My ears wouldn't bleed. But God forbid the schools even call it "Christmas break" anymore, or "Easter break". These party poopers act like you tried to kill a puppy. They're probably the same people who, on Halloween this year, tried to have an ordinance passed in their town that people could only give out nut free candy. Which means no chocolate. Seriously? A Halloween without chocolate???? That's like taking Christ out of Christmas!

United I stand

I went to the gym today. First time in years I'm trying to do PT to get so I can stand up for more than 2 minutes at a time. When I got home, I poured myself out of the car and I could hear, from the field around the corner a girl starting to sing The National Anthem. So I took my hat off, and I stood right there. In the street A block away and listened to her sing The National Anthem. Because that's what you do. You stand. And this girl? She was singing like she had something to prove. My legs were jelly. I was shaking, and jiggling. But I stood. Because that's what you do You stand. when someone is singing The National Anthem. #unitedwestand

Bunny hop on out of here

Sad bunnies everywhere mourn the passing of a legend. Hugh Hefner was responsible for more "hidden media" than all of the politicians In Washington. (How many beds had a Playboy under the mattress?) Hef showed the world that boobs and heineys belong in magazines. And that every girl likes to sit naked in a meadow or on a horse or walking down the beach, or on a car hood. Or dreamed of playing naked volleyball with other girls. Rocking a bathrobe, Living in a mansion, With a gaggle of "girls" The Hef was hero To all men. But he set women Back to the stone ages. God bless him May he rest in peace. And may the idea of "the bunnies" go with him.

Take a knee, take a hike

You can take a stand Or take a knee In protest You... in the NFL Uh, the "National" football league Why don't you Take action instead And do something To help the cause you're protesting for Or against. And leave the "National Anthem" out of it.

What's that smell?

So I'm sitting at the airport And somebody walked by, With a perfume That I've smelled before. And I can't place it. But it brought back random happy feelings. What do you call that? Sniff-a-vu? Deja-pu?

Sand castles, and fireworks, and witches, oh my!

You know how it is. It's the third week of July. It's been in the high 90's, for weeks on end. The humidity is disgusting. You've been living in a bathing suit, flip-flops, and not much else. Where else does your mind turn to? Halloween. Of course. Sand castles, fireworks, and spooky witches. Fear not. Acme has you covered. They've got their Halloween candy out.

A week's worth of ice cream

A couple of times every summer, Aunt Cynthia and I would walk down to Sundae Best, in Avalon to get ice cream. And, every time, my uncle would yell at us. and tell us that he could make us ice cream sundaes every night for a week, and it would be cheaper than what we'd spend on just one visit. He was maybe right. But, in the summer, you have to get ice cream from the ice cream place in town. Even if a cone costs the same as a half gallon. Today I took my niece To some self serve Froyo yogurt place, in Westmont And told her she could get whatever she wanted. So she did. And I paid for it. $8.50 EIGHT! DOLLARS! AND! FIFTY! CENTS! For one ice cream mess. That didn't even have a cone. And what did I say? "Oh! My! God! Kelly!!! I could have bought 4 half gallons of ice cream that are on sale at the Acme right now!!!" But it was worth it. Because it's summer. And she was happy. And I want to be the Aunt Cynthia to all my nieces and nephews.

Swimming pool games

I was sound asleep this morning, And I heard a knock on my door So I yelled hello (Of course, I didn't get out of bed) And I didn't hear anything, So I yelled hello again, and asked who it was. And I heard a girl's voice say "Marco" Seriously? Someone wanted to play swimming games with me that early in the morning? So I yelled "Polo" Nothing. So I yelled "Polo" again. And she didn't answer. I don't know. It was weird. So I just went back to sleep. And forgot all about it. When I got up there was an envelope In my door from my friend Christine, at the front office. When she came over later She mentioned that she had papers to return to me. I said, "Oh you already did. They were in my door this morning." She said, "I forgot I had her drop them off. That was my friend Margot."

He'll always be my daddy

Happy Father's Day To the man who gave me his blue eyes, his walk, his short fuse,And his extra spicy curses. According to my Mom, driving with me Is like driving with my father's clone. Happy Father's Day To the man who found a 6 foot snake in his koi pond and walked/ran from the back to the front yard, stage whispering to me "don't tell mommy", so she wouldn't be scared. Happy Father's Day To the man who debated with my mom for 10 minutes outside a restaurant in South Carolina, because, although he had driven there, he said she lost the keys. So he climbed underneath the car and grabbed the spare hidden pair. Then, when we drove up next to them, we saw the keys were hanging out of the car door. Happy Father's Day To the man who made fun of my Mom for not using the camera correctly on her iPhone. Yet, when I looked through his photos, he had 83 pictures of his pocket Happy Father's Day To the man who throws his head back and laughs uproariously when he finds something particularly funny. A trait he's passed onto all of his kids. Happy Father's Day To the man who knows when I'm hurting, and will call up and ask "How's my doll baby?" Happy Father's Day To the man who has been with my mother for over 60 years, loving each other through all of the cancer they've both had, the death of their parents, broken bones, heart problems, and 4 kids. My dad taught me to find someone, and to love with all of my heart. Through good times and bad. Who taught me that it's ok if you're not perfect, in fact it makes you even easier to love. My daddy, my hero.

My mom's better than your mom

My mom is the only person in the history of Apple iPhone who doesn't have the "messages" "photo" or "camera" apps. "Julie, I've looked everywhere, and they are not on my phone. They're just not there. Can't you remote in somehow, and look at my phone?" I had to help my Dad get on the boat when he went Parasailing, so I gave my mom a quick lesson on my Nikon so she could take pictures while he was up there. When we got back, I looked at the pictures she had taken. 37 up close personal pictures of sand crystals. The ocean. The sky. The bathing suit of woman next to her. The hat of the woman next to her. Her beach chair. Her beach towel. Her own eyeballs. A bunch of blurry pictures that may have been my dad in the air, and 3 perfect pictures of my Dad after the ride when he was seasick. But my mom is the person you call at 3 in the morning when you're sad and just want to talk. She may not remember the conversation in the morning, but she gets you through the rough times. She's the person who flew up here Mother's Day weekend, the year after Mrs Miller died, so that she could walk in the Race For The Cure, in honor of her. My mom is the person (and my Dad) who has all of us kids, (who are in our 40's, 50's and 60's (almost)) fighting over who is the favorite child. Literally. We have text arguments over who's the favorite. My mom is the person I call with every bit of news, no matter how big or small. She's a survivor, she's a warrior, she's my best friend, she's who I want to be when I grow up. Happy Mother's Day to the best Mom on earth. #mothersday2017

Shattered McDreamy's

I stopped in Cooper Hospital to visit a friend's mother and, while I was in the elevator I noticed two young girls wearing white coats with stitching on them that said they were "intern" and "resident". So, being a huge fan of Grey's Anatomy, I had to ask. And I found out that: - No, the elevators are never used as floating sex chambers. - No, the residents and interns don't have time to jump in bed every couple of hours, lounging around between important cases. - No, they don't switch sex partners every couple of weeks. - No, there aren't as many cases of people with worms as Shonda Rhimes would like you to think. - Yes, a lot of the cases they've shown, have happened before. - And- - No, no one in Cooper Hospital has ever seen a "penis fish". @greysanatomy @shondarhimes #shatteredmcdreamy

Name calling

I've observed that people are so involved in their phones, that no one takes the time to pay attention to anyone around them. Service people, cashiers, waitresses. all go unnoticed, unless they're needed. So I go out of my way to acknowledge them all. I look for name tags and address everyone by name. When I say hello, ask how their day is, or tell them to have a great night, I always use a name. When I at the airport, leaving my parents in S.C., the other day, the TSA agent's name was Myr. So, I said "Thanks, Myr." and he raised an eyebrow at me. I pointed at his name tag. He looked down and started laughing. Hysterically. While he was laughing, I was mentally running through the men's names that "Myr" could be short for. I know a woman could be "Myrna". He was still laughing, great big guffaws, and now, tugging on the lady TSA agent next to him, who looked at me and burst into laughter. I was still running through names in my head when it hit me. So I turned around and looked at her name tag and it was "Myr" also I was looking at the airport codes. For "Myrtle Beach"'. (They said that I made their day)

It's of utmost impotence

When I had my first spinal surgery in 1999, a screw broke. And landed on a nerve in my lower spine Forever crushing the nerve. They had to go in and "re-visit" the area, replace the broken screw and start fresh. Unfortunately the nerve was unable to properly regenerate. I have mobility But I have hot foot. And I mean HOT FOOT! Someone holding a blow torch on it 24/7 unable to walk, move, sit, stand, HOT FOOT. We're able to control the pain with meds that I'll be on for life. Last week 18 years later, I started having pins and needles Again in the foot So, I was explaining to my pain management physician that the only solution my original surgeon came up with, other than medicine, was to cut the nerve. But the drawback was The possibility of my being impotent. And he looked at me. And said that couldn't happen. And I said "You don't know me, If there's the possibly of anything happening. It will." And he said "Julie, girls don't get impotent". I said "Look at me. If anyone in the world had to wear a diaper after this surgery, it would be me" And he said, "Oh, Julie. You mean incontinent".

She turned our world on with her smile.......

40 years ago,  Mary Tyler Moore  lived at my house. Every week, she, Murray,  Ted, and Mr. Grant  came into our living room  and made us laugh  for a full half hour.  Some weeks  Rhoda, Phyllis, Sue Ann  or Georgette were there,  but Mary was the main character  And we loved her. She was a quiet feminist  who produced the news,  in a time period when it was a  job usually reserved for men  She was a serial dater, who threw awful parties,  and we laughed every week. A couple of weeks ago,  I pulled the Mary Tyler Moore show up, on streaming service. And my mom, dad, and I started watching it again  And it's still relevant  And still just as funny.  Even more special,  She resembled my Aunt Cynthia. who was also single And a quiet feminist  Working at a job  usually reserved for men. When we had Aunt Cynthia's memorial  The song we played  to start the service  was the Mary Tyler Moore theme song,  "After All" by Sonny Curtis When we heard today,  that Mary Tyler Moore died   My sisters texted that  Aunt Cynthia can meet her,  and, that they can have a good  laugh together in heaven. Thank you, Mary Tyler Moore  For making us laugh, And for bringing my family together, in so many ways. You did make it after all.  
 
 
(Aunt Cynthia, when she finally got to Minneapolis, in the classic Mary Tyler Moore "throw the hat in the air" pose). 
 #marytylermoore @marytylermoore #mrgrant