The inventor of the cheesesteak?

We went to Pat's Cheesesteaks  On Passyunk in Philly.  So I can cross that off  my imaginary bucket list. That I never would have had  listed on there anyway. And it would be an imaginary  cheesesteak that I'd have to cross off. Cause I got a hot dog .

Thumbs up

A couple of weeks ago, my right thumb blew up. No reason for it that I can think of. Just blew up. from my inside palm all the way up to my nail, And now when I bend it, at the knuckle, it clicks. So when it didn't go away after 2 weeks, I went to urgent care. They took x-rays, And found nothing broken. They said I have torn ligaments, and what's called "Game-keepers" thumb. So, with my active life, I've been trying to figure out which game tore my ligaments: - turning the pages on the Kindle - Driving up to see My 85 year old cousin, Betty in long term care at the Masonic Home - Using the stylus on my iPhone - Sleeping in the lounge chair - Playing hide and seeking with the remote, with the cats. I haven't figured it out. I'm afraid if I start worrying about it, the strain of thinking may tear a ligament in some other part of my body. #Phantominjury #nogamekeeperthumb

Answer me honestly. Why do you think I pulled you over? "Honestly"

So when the police pull you over and ask "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Is that a rhetorical question? Do you answer it honestly? Do you list all the things you're doing wrong that he could be giving you a ticket for? "Uh... I didn't have my seat belt on?" "I was texting and driving?" "I was 20 miles over the speed limit?" "My tail light is out?" Are you supposed to do his job for him? Or do you sit there, innocently, and give him Bambi eyes. Widen them as much as possible and drop your jaw a tiny bit, when he tells you the real reason. Oh my gosh, I had no idea that was illegal! I would normally never - Let my 2 year old sit on my lap and steer. Openly drink a 6 pack with the convertible top down. Carry a dead body in my trunk. Fit 6 people in a 2 seater. Smoke a bong. Watch TV from my dashboard dvd player Read and answer emails. Curl my hair. Shave. Change out of my shirt. Thank you so much for the warning, and I can assure you, that it'll never happen again. (Because I'm getting a radar detector.)

Trigger happy: or why Sandy Cheeks caused my blushing cheeks

Sometimes I have problems remembering names. Probably because I don't pay attention. So when it's important, I try to pair the name with something else. As a way to jog my memory. When I had to take my 95 year old, cousin Betty to the Masonic Home to live, I met at least 6 different people who were going to be her caregivers for the rest of her life. I had to pair the names. Some were easy. Carol sitting next to the wreath was obviously "Christmas Carol". When I was having a hard time leaving, Between guilt and my tears, Joan told me to be strong. I thought of her as "Joan of Arc" Betty lived on Nantucket West, so Sandy was "Sandy beach". And so on... The only flaw in my plan was the receptionist. whose name was also Sandy. I couldn't come up with a trigger to jog my memory. Finally, I thought of Sandy Cheewhat. Sponge Bob's best friend. A squirrel. Nickelodeon is on when I leave the house, and 9 times out of 10, Sponge Bob is on. I figured perfect. Sandy Cheeks was the last thing I saw when I left the house, And the first thing I saw when I got to the Masonic Home. I just had to remember Sandy Cheeks. Sandy Cheeks. Sandy Cheeks. 3 days later, I was proud of myself for remembering Who she was. As I repeated it to myself, to guarantee no slip ups, Sandy Cheeks, Sandy Cheeks, Sandy Cheeks. I walked in the front door, got to the receptionist, And said "Hey, Squirrel!"