Jimmies, chocolate sprinkles, and pickle popsicles

I had to go to Walmart the other day. To get a prescription filled. I hate Walmart. The store of the great unwashed. But it's the only place that ever has this one medicine that I need every month. I had to wait half an hour, so I picked up some stuff that I needed. Paper towels, milk, and ice cream. I wanted chocolate jimmies. So I asked the sales lady where I could find them. She didn't speak English, So she didn't know what I meant. Understandable. "Jimmies" is a local word for sprinkles. So I asked again, for "chocolate sprinkles". She took me to whipped cream. I laughed and repeated, "chocolate sprinkles". So she took me to strawberry syrup, So I said "NO - chocolate sprinkles", "chocolate sprinkles" Because if you say it twice, while shaking your head no, it makes it more understandable. This time though, I did pantomime - Shaking sprinkles onto an ice cream cream cone. She finally took me to another sales girl; who also barely spoke English. I asked her for chocolate sprinkles for ice cream, pantomiming it as I asked. She tried to send me to the craft department. I again explained what I wanted. But she told me to go to the craft aisle. So I ended up in the cake decorating aisle. Where the only food was those melting chocolate discs that taste like soapy wax. I walked back to the front of the store And tried the baking needs aisle No luck. I saw another sales girl who sent me way down, to an end row, Where they had a display of ice cream cones. There were no jimmies. I ran into another sales woman and explained that I had been playing Marco Polo all afternoon, Looking for jimmies She spoke English And she understood me. She said: "well, Miss, we don't have everything! We're not a super Walmart!" Makes sense. Of course, I could buy : -a cigarette lighter the size of my arm -a motion detector toilet bowl light that "lights up your toilet with seven ambient colors for those middle of the night trips to the bathroom" -A bacon scented pillow or a -Pickle flavored popsicle. I just couldn't get jimmies.