People have stuff/annoyances happen to them all the time. Somehow, these things happen to me more than most, oooorrrrr maybe I just notice them more. Either way, I almost always find them funny.....
Monday, January 28, 2019
Knock those hooters around!
When I had my mastectomy,
I had the implants
put in at the same time
that they removed the cancer.
But the implants
they put in,
were inflatables.
Yeah.
Once a week,
the doctor would
add some saline
to inflate
the expander,
which would stretch
the skin.
I guess about
four months later
they'd remove
the inflatables,
(the expanders),
and replace them
with the saline implants.
So I was actually
gonna be
leaving the hospital
flat chested.
The thought of THAT
devastated me.
Those of you who knew me,
remember my bra size.
As far at I was concerned,
to go from THAT,
to flat chested
was worse than the cancer.
I couldn't even imagine
how awful it would be
to leave the hospital
with that part of my body
amputated.
Oh. I laughed.
I joked.
I had people placing bets -
Feeling me up,
then guessing
how much they weighed.
(9 pounds)
But, underneath
I was having panic attacks.
It was too awful to think about.
Enter Missy.
Bless her heart.
She knitted me boobies.
Yes. She. Did.
She found a pattern online.
And made me "Knitted Knockers"
Crocheted breast prosthetics.
So that I wouldn't have to leave
the hospital flat chested.
How adorable is that?
This was all
almost 10 years ago.
The inflatables didn't inflate.
I got deathly MRSA in one side.
(This has NEVER happened before)
Story of my life.
I had to have that one pulled out.
Then when they thought
the MRSA was gone
they put it back in.
I got MRSA again.
(This has NEVER happened before)
So, I had both sides pulled out.
And I walked out of the hospital
Flat chested.
But finally out of pain.
The Knitted Knockers
were put in a drawer.
with the mastectomy bra,
and forgotten about.
Until last week.
All of a sudden
I noticed one of the Knockers
was lying in a different area
of my house,
every few hours.
That's when I realized
my cats were playing
"bat the boobie around".
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment