Golden slumbers

My whole life,
sleep and I,
have had a tempestuous
relationship.

I have insomnia
And can easily go
For 3 days
Without sleeping.

or I fall asleep
And it takes
An atomic bomb
next to my face
to wake me up.

Now, when I have to wake up,
I literally have
4 iPhone alarms,
set 4 minutes apart,
my clock radio
on full blast,
and Karla,
Bless her heart,
calls me until
I answer the phone.
OR
A lot of times i
sleep through all of it.

When I had my first job,
and my parents had already
left for work,
it was up to me
to wake up on my own

My father
had one of his work buddies
call me every day,
and tell me jokes
until I was awake
enough to laugh.

I think the only times
I ever,
Ever!!!
wake up
on the first
alarm,
are when it's snowing,
or when I'm going to the beach
Priorities.

For some reason
recently,
My sleeping prowess
has risen
To Olympic gold medal levels

Sure.
I had that time
A couple of years ago
When I decided
One afternoon,
around 1:30
After working at the pre-school,
to drive up to
The Polo store
At those outlets
At Franklin Mills mall

It was nice weather
Probably 75°,
So I had my top down.
But I sat in traffic on
I95 for almost an hour.

By the time I got to the mall
I was hot,
and exhausted.
I knew I'd never
Be able to make the drive home
safely,
Because I was so tired

So, before I went into the mall,
Around 2:30,
I stayed in the car,
With the top down,
and closed my eyes.

Then I heard a bunch
of people talking loudly
To the police.
Right next to me

And I was annoyed.
Because I knew
they could see that I was
sleeping.
So I opened my eyes
To give them a dirty look

And it was almost dark out.

They were talking to the police.
because they saw me sleeping
In my car.
When they went in to the mall.
5 hours before.
And I hadn't moved.

So they thought I was dead.

"Ladies and gentlemen
It's my pleasure to announce
The Olympic winner of this year's
Golden Slumbers award goes to..."

#goldenslumbers #z