Never lose your iPhone again

I play on my iPhone a lot. A LOT. As in all the time: if the battery dies down, I use my old iPhone 4 till the iPhone 5 recharges. I write, play games, surf, post, blog, tweet, text etc., so much, that I use a stylus. 

I have a lanyard attaching the stylus to the phone because, well, you know: I lose stuff, flush stuff, drop stuff, break stuff, and so on. This way I'm not hunting for the stylus all the time.

Yesterday, my friend Bob came over, and as usual, I was sitting on my front steps playing some game or other. 

While we were talking he noticed the phone and the lanyard, but didn't see the stylus because it was in my pocket. 

He looked at me and said "Good God, Julie, you love your phone so much you have to keep it on a leash?"

#iphoneonaleash #iphonefun

I feel sorry for teenagers today.....

I feel sorry for teenagers today. With Facebook, Twitter, text messages, and Instagram, you can't pretend he tried to call you and couldn't get through because of a busy signal...

 #poorteenagers #lonelyteenagers #facebook #instagram #twitter  

Seniors pay less

We went to the movies last night and the ticket seller, being cute, said to my friend, "that's a child's ticket right?" And she laughed. I got up there and he said same thing to me, "child's ticket right?"And I waved my hand and said "noooo, a senior." And he gave it to me. 

I couldn't decide whether to be excited about the $4.00 he took off or ticked about the 15 years he added to my life...

Laters, baby

#fiftyshadesofgrey #seniorspayless #flirtingsavedme$4

Facebook posts that can be put to pasture

Facebook posts that can be put to pasture. And never brought back again. They can go the way of "baby on board", "my kid is an honor student", or "my kid beat up your honor student".

All Facebook posts that need to stop and go the way of "baby on board", and"my kid is an honor student". Stop. Just stop! 

Pictures of hands making a heart shape. Thank you, Taylor Swift for that obnoxious, overused by teenagers and, NOW hospitals, cloying little gesture.

Pictures of food. Great. You eat. Who doesn't?

Pictures of anyone over the age of 3 with their chin resting on their folded up hands. Grow up. It's almost not cute when kids do it, it's most certainly not cute from a 40 year old. 

Pictures of your lunch. Good for you. You're eating again. 

Pictures of your pet breathing.

The same selfie pose of you 33 times a day, every day. Pull your lips in. That pouty look actually resembles a butthole. 

Messages that end with "if you don't pass this on, you're heartless". Ok. I'm heartless. 

Messages that start with "I laughed so hard, I cried". These always build up the video to such epic proportions you can't wait to see it, only to see someone get hit in their naughty bits, or a puppy and a kid playing together. 

Messages that tell you how to feel: "this video will tug at your heartstrings and you'll never look at ---- the same way again". Yes I will. I saw the same video last week, only it was set in a different country. 

LOL: stop and think. would you really LOL if  you were together in person. Probably not. So, don't lie. Either don't respond, or write Thanks, I got your joke! Or haha. Or if it's dumb, "groan". 

Pictures of your dinner. Great, you're doing the same thing every other person in the country is: eating. Stop bragging. 

The same one word post every single day "Java". We get it, you want coffee.

YOLO: that term has been around since Eve died and didn't return. Adam turned to the snake and said "Wow, you only live once!".

Quotes that aren't verified or attributed to the wrong person: "Don't believe everything you read on the Internet, just because there's a quote and a picture next to it"- Abraham Lincoln

Ben Franklin- "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that you can't be sure of their authenticity." 

Scary unfounded, unchecked rumors: "Ebola found in Collingswood, NJ" "I heard that a student in Sharp school was sent home with Ebola because her father was in Lebanon last week". 

I can probably think of a dozen more but I heard that Facebook is monitoring posts now, lol, and I don't want to get pulled into Mark Zuckerberg's office and questioned.....but hey, YOLO!

Who really sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl?

I was at a birthday party for my 14 year old niece, when the Super Bowl started. John Legend came on and sang the National Anthem. There was a table full of pre-teens eating cake so I turned to them and said "Come on guys, get up and put your hand on your heart, you need to honor your country". 

I pulled my hoodie down and put my hand on my heart, but, thinking I was kidding, they all laughed and stayed seated. 

So I gently bellowed "GET UP and put your hand on your heart. There are not many things that I am emphatic about, but our National Anthem is one of them!!"

They got up. 

I turned and asked the adults in the living room to follow suit, so they all stood up too. 

So, as I sang about purple mountain majesties and fruited plains, I told the kids how the song gives me chills every time I hear it, and that it's my my favorite song because it's about my country and ends with "sea to shining sea".

The song ended we sat down and Idina Menzel came on. The first two words out of her mouth "Oh say" and I froze. I realized what I had done. 

Denise turned to me and said "Julie, THAT'S the National Anthem"!

I turned to the kids and said, "Ok guys get up. Now that we've practiced..." 

#johnlegend. #idinamenzel  #nationalanthem  #getyoursongsstraight