People have stuff/annoyances happen to them all the time. Somehow, these things happen to me more than most, oooorrrrr maybe I just notice them more. Either way, I almost always find them funny.....
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Black dresses, turtlenecks, and boobs
SEX
ual harassment
Got your attention?
Ok. So, everyone was
talking about the
the women who
wore black dresses
to the Golden Globes
in support of the victims
of sexual harassment.
but THEN wore the dresses
slit up to the Heavens,
or down to their belly buttons.
Or had every bit of breast
hanging out.
(Except for the part of the breast
that feeds the world.
As if THAT'S the shameful part)
When I saw the whole thing
on the news,
I admit, I thought it was
a bit hypocritical.
"Let's fight sexual harassment.
By looking extra sexy"
Until today.
I was getting dressed
You know, bra-less.
Since I had cancer
I have nothing to put in one,
so I don't need a bra.
But as I put on a turtleneck
it jogged a memory:
"Is it cold out, or you happy to see me?"
Anybody who knows me
knows I've always dressed
conservatively.
Nothing. sexy. ever.
that would draw attention
to the fact that
I was carrying around
A Pamela Anderson-sized chest.
So I hid it.
Well, as hidden
as any mountain could be.
Casabas. Bazoobies. Hooters.
9 lbs of chest.
I had them weighed
when I had the mastectomy.
That's what I carried on my front.
In my bra.
From the day I woke up with them,
(because I swear they grew overnight)
in 1978,
to the day I woke up without them,
in 2008, 30 years later,
I got sexually harassed.
For 30 years.
By bosses, boys, teachers, friends, boyfriends, boyfriends of friends.
Turtleneck
* "I was in the melon section at the Acme and thought of you!"
Button down shirt
* "Can I stick my face in there and motorboat you?"
Polo shirt short sleeve
* "What size bra do you wear?"
Sweater
* "Are those things real?"
Long sleeve crew neck
* "Can I feel them?"
Henley shirt
* "You brought the girls out!"
Hoodie
* "How do you carry those things around all day?"
Crew neck sweatshirt
* "Can I put this tray of food on there?"
Conveniently brushing against me.
Conveniently touching me.
Sending me outside for things in the cold, to come back in with tell-tale nipples.
See.
It doesn't matter
what you wear.
Boys are boys.
Men are men.
And
Boobs are boobs.
As long as they thought
that there were boobs
hiding under my clothing,
I was getting
sexually harassed.
So. To the women
who took their boobs
and let them fly free.
And slit their dresses
up to Heaven
I say "Good. For. You "
We can hide them
or we can flaunt them
It shouldn't matter.
It's not something
that we should have to
worry about.
It's part of who we are.
We have no control over it.
We shouldn't have to dress
so that somebody else
doesn't react to it.
That's on them.
Not on us.
I spent thirty years
covered up
so that I didn't
have to hear abuse.
But.
I heard it.
I felt it.
I got it.
Anyway.
So.
From now on
keep your hands
and your words to yourself.
We don't want them.
You big boobs.
#Timesup
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Happy New Year 2018!
Other than the beach, my favorite thing to take pictures of is the moon.
So of course I'm excited that this year is starting off with a full moon.
AND, on January 31st, we're having A FULL, SUPER, BLUE, BLOOD, MOON, with a total ECLIPSE! It's like the best of everything a moon can be......
We only get to see a partial part of the eclipse early (6:30am) in the morning, but you know where I'll be.
Toasty in bed. What the hell. It's January. No. Probably, down at the Delaware trying to get some shots of it.
Sometimes, it's the little things that make life worthwhile. You just don't realize it until after they've happened. Happy New Year to everyone! Hope you're as excited about things to come as I am!!!
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Merry Christmas! (No X allowed!!!)
This may be a repeat)
An honest question.
Why is Christmas so offensive that people can't look at the written word, or hear it being spoken? Sales clerks arent allowed to wish you "Merry Christmas" anymore lest they offend you.
I understand that some people aren't Christian, that's fine, but what is so offensive that we can't enjoy it?
Do they think that by saying Merry Christmas, people are trying to convert them to Christianity?
I will say one BIG pet peeve of mine, is the word X-mas. Yeah I know "X" stood for Christ in days long ago, but you never hear that anymore. The word "X-mas" is only used now because people are too lazy to write the other 5, (that's right, 5) letters. They're taking Christ out of Christmas because of laziness.
But I digress.
Other than the fact that we start decorating at Labor Day, it boggles me that people make such a fuss about saying Merry Christmas.
I really think it's tiny, petty people who have nothing better to do with their time than to find offense with everything. Protesters and activists, are harming their credibility, by continuously trying to find something to turn into an injustice. If everything is offensive, what is appealing?
If someone wished me "Happy Hanukkah" or "Ramadan", it wouldn't even register. My ears wouldn't bleed. But God forbid the schools even call it "Christmas break" anymore, or "Easter break". These party poopers act like you tried to kill a puppy.
They're probably the same people who, on Halloween this year, tried to have an ordinance passed in their town that people could only give out nut free candy. Which means no chocolate. Seriously? A Halloween without chocolate????
That's like taking Christ out of Christmas!
Friday, October 6, 2017
United I stand
I went to the gym today.
First time in years
I'm trying to do PT
to get so I can stand up
for more than 2 minutes at a time.
When I got home,
I poured myself
out of the car
and I could hear,
from the field
around the corner
a girl starting to sing
The National Anthem.
So I took my hat off,
and I stood
right there.
In the street
A block away
and listened
to her sing
The National Anthem.
Because that's what you do.
You stand.
And this girl?
She was singing
like she had something
to prove.
My legs
were jelly.
I was shaking,
and jiggling.
But I stood.
Because that's what you do
You stand.
when someone
is singing
The National Anthem.
#unitedwestand
Monday, October 2, 2017
Bunny hop on out of here
Sad bunnies everywhere
mourn the passing of a legend.
Hugh Hefner was responsible
for more "hidden media"
than all of the politicians
In Washington.
(How many beds had a Playboy
under the mattress?)
Hef showed the world
that boobs and heineys
belong in magazines.
And that every girl likes
to sit naked in a meadow
or on a horse
or walking down the beach,
or on a car hood.
Or dreamed
of playing naked volleyball
with other girls.
Rocking a bathrobe,
Living in a mansion,
With a gaggle of "girls"
The Hef was hero
To all men.
But he set women
Back to the stone ages.
God bless him
May he rest in peace.
And may the idea
of "the bunnies" go with him.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Take a knee, take a hike
You can take a stand
Or take a knee
In protest
You...
in the NFL
Uh, the
"National" football league
Why don't you
Take action
instead
And do something
To help
the cause you're
protesting for
Or against.
And leave the
"National Anthem"
out of it.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
What's that smell?
So I'm sitting at the airport
And somebody walked by,
With a perfume
That I've smelled before.
And I can't place it.
But it brought back
random happy feelings.
What do you call that?
Sniff-a-vu?
Deja-pu?
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